Cheer them on, encourage them and enjoy watching them. Let the decisions belong to the kids.
Youth soccer is wonderfully chaotic. Children miss passes that seem obvious from the sideline, shoot when we expect a pass, bunch together and try ideas that look unlikely to work. Sometimes those ideas work anyway. At SoCal Youth Sports, we see those moments as children learning to read a changing game, make decisions and discover what happens next.
That is why we invite parents to settle in, cheer and enjoy their child’s game. You do not have to coach from the sideline. Our coaches have that responsibility, and even they know that providing every answer can take away a child’s chance to find one.
Imagine doing algebra while running around the classroom
Picture your child solving an algebra problem while running around a classroom. The table moves, the numbers change every few seconds, and another child tries to stop them finding the answer. That is a little closer to the challenge of playing soccer. A young player has to notice the defender, the space, the ball, their teammates and the goal, then act before the picture changes again.
Now imagine several adults calling out different answers from around the room: “Pass!” “Shoot!” “Turn!” “Get rid of it!” Even when every voice means well, it adds information the child must process. We want players to look at the game for clues and grow comfortable making their own decisions.
Your child does not need you to solve the algebra problem. They need to know you are proud of them for trying.
Cheering is welcome; constant direction is different
We are not asking for silent sidelines. Clap for a brave attempt, encourage the goalkeeper who has just conceded, and celebrate the child who tries again after losing the ball. Parents should bring warmth and joy to the field. Youth soccer sideline coaching usually starts with good intentions; the challenge is knowing when encouragement turns into directions the child has to process.
A study that interviewed children about their preferred parent behavior at sporting events identified a supportive parent alongside less welcome roles such as the demanding coach and the “crazed fan.” A separate small study of youth athletes found associations between positive parent sideline behavior and prosocial athlete behavior, and between negative behavior and antisocial behavior. These studies do not prove that any one cheer changes a child’s play, but they reinforce why the tone of the touchline matters.
Children often look to trusted adults for reassurance. Let that reassurance be about effort, courage and kindness. During play, give them room to notice, choose, make mistakes and try again.
Why we do not need a Silent Saturday
AYSO’s Silent Saturdays guidance aims to reduce constant direction so players can trust their instincts, communicate with one another and learn from mistakes. It also explicitly seeks to protect volunteer referees, including young referees, from sideline interference. These are worthy goals, and the volunteers working toward them deserve respect.
Our question is why that experience should be reserved for a special Saturday. Children deserve room to make decisions every week. Referees deserve to learn without harassment every week. Parents should be able to enjoy the match every week. A single themed day can draw attention to a problem; an organization has to build the everyday culture that addresses it.
We want better Saturdays, every Saturday.
Players play. Coaches coach. Parents support.
Our coaches are active, but good coaching does not mean controlling every touch. They design small games, adjust the challenge, ask useful questions and help children notice new possibilities. Then they let the children play. Research with youth soccer players has linked autonomy-supportive coaching with greater feelings of autonomy and later participation in additional soccer activity; the finding is an association, not a guarantee for any one child.
That approach is reflected in our small-sided NanoSoccer formats: children get frequent chances to engage with the game and solve problems. The coach sets up the learning environment. The game presents the problem. The child gets to try an answer.
We expect the same care for referees. A young official learning their role deserves patience and safety, even when a decision is wrong. Adults can model the respect we want players to show. Our touchline tips for soccer parents offer more ways to encourage without directing play.
You get to be Mom or Dad today
Bring your coffee, find a comfortable spot and enjoy the game. Cheer for both teams. Laugh at the unexpected moments. When your child struggles with a decision, give them a few seconds to work it out. Then watch what happens when they do.
If that sounds like the kind of Saturday your family wants, explore our Pasadena and Glendale youth soccer leagues. We will take care of the soccer. You can enjoy your child’s game day and embrace the chaos.
Want to see this approach in action? Start with our free classes for children from 18 months through age 6, or explore our goalkeeper classes with Coach Andy. Both give children a place to learn by playing.
